| i am:
working all of the time
training the new girl
ready for warm weather
taking a birthday trip to virginia with my friends to see friends
turning twenty three
having a breast reduction in three weeks (twenty one days)
volunteering with big brothers big sisters
planning the wedding shower of a life time
working on mail
watching dr. who
wishing you well
and not really posting here anymore |
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house.cat sitting at the tullar residence
day one of twelve |
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| Tonight I listened to Songs Ohia and took a bath until the water went lukewarm.
I sat in the tub until the water drained even though I don’t like to look at my naked body. To tell you the truth, I feel wonderful. I am doing really well.
It’s just lately I worry about those who I am not sure are so great.
It is typical, I think, to not understand yourself or why you do the things you do
But I guess I have myself figured out for now. [for now]
It is the other people that baffle me. When we are babies we are helpless.
We are fed and then burped.
Our asses are wiped and we are rocked to sleep.
Now we are grown ups. We have a choice and make decisions the best we know how.
Still we are pretty helpless. There is a song I have stuck in my head a lot and the words go like this “Every morning is another chance
to see a different me
Carry only memories
maybe then a lightness will come to me
Every morning is another chance
to see it all anew
Owning nothing in the world
maybe then a lightness will come to you” I like that.
If I had it my way I might never leave that bath - that time to think - that time all to myself…
Even though I don’t like to look at my naked body. |
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